Chase the Rainbow

When I moved from the Soo to Nanaimo my mom wrote me a note to say all the things she couldn't say to my face about leaving. We're both criers, so I understand. I found that note today while looking for some little corner stickers for a photo album and it *still* brings tears to my eyes nearly 2 years later. She wishes me well and hopes things will turn out for us, but the phrase that's been ringing in my ears since I read it is "I hope you find the rainbow you've been chasing."

Gods. What am I DOING out here if I'm not chasing my rainbow? What have I been doing? I've been working, I've been coasting along really, and taking care of the family, but when it comes to chasing my rainbow, it hasn't been happening. What does that even mean? It means that I want a career in a social or environmental change. It means I want to be master of my own destiny and not so fucking broke all the time. It means living my life the way I want to live it, not the way I HAVE to live it. But I haven't found a way to get that career (yet), in part because I haven't been looking that hard. There were a few opportunities I applied for but none of them panned out. I settled for the FedEx job because it was good money and safe.

Safe. I'm sick and tired of safe, but it's what's best for our family. We can't be moving every 6-12 months for work or lack thereof. We need stability. Hell, *I* need it, but the 9-5, 40 hour a week career type job isn't as common as it used to be. If I found my rainbow, this is what I'd see:

Red: Passion. I would love my job. I would love what I do and it would bring out the fierceness in my soul in the best possible way.  It would speak to my warrior self and there would be honour in it.
Orange:  Confidence. I would be good at my job.
Yellow: Intellect. My job would challenge my brain in a good way, stretch it to think of old things in new ways, and new things in old ways. I would know a lot about the field and finally be able to use my degree(s).
Green: Compassion. During my work my deep empathy and compassion for the earth and/or fellow humans would come into play AND IT WOULDN'T BE A BAD THING. Infact it would be central to the other facets of the job.
Blue: Voice. During work my thoughts would be heard and respected. My powers of oratory would be used for good, to inform and to sway opinion towards a more progressive bent.
Purple: Spirit. My job would not insult my Wiccan self. Being a Pagan would be an asset, in some way. Doesn't have to be central to the role, but wouldn't be a negative. I wouldn't have to hide my faith (or sexuality) at work. My job would deepen my connection to my fellow humans and the earth itself. As above, so below. We are the Universe's way of experiencing itself.

So other than joining GreenPeace, where's this rainbow? I need a sign. I need to chase my rainbow but I need to know what that IS.

7 Sacred Values

Gikendosowin - to cherish KNOWLEDGE is to know wisdom.
Zhawendiwin - To know LOVE is to know peace.
Manaaji’owin - To honor all the creation is to have RESPECT.
Zoongidayaywin - BRAVERY is to face the foe with integrity.
Gwayakwaadizewin - HONESTY in facing a situation is to be brave.
Duhbuhsaynimoowin - HUMILITY is to know you as a sacred part of the creation.
Debwemowin - TRUTH is to know all of these things.

Norval Morrisseau's Thunderbird from 1977

 

Magic to the People

Imagine you have the feeling you need a spell, or a ritual of some kind; maybe you're down on your luck and could use a boost in prosperity, or someone you know is sick but you don't feel comfortable praying for them (for whatever reason), or maybe you just don't know how to do these things for yourself. Imagine you could walk down the street and into a shop and find someone to help you out, someone with knowledge and experience, who will gladly do it for you.

You can help fantasy become reality by supporting Magic to the People, a real, physical shop that's being developed by Drew Jacobs, adventurer and priest of all gods, in New Orleans. Drew is in the middle of his trek from Wisconsin to Rio De Janerio in Brazil and wants to give back to the city he loves so much by creating this shop and services, even for people who can't pay. I've been following Drew's writings for a couple of years now and while I don't agree with everything he's ever said or done, this is one thing I'm behind 100 percent. If you think that Drew's goal of providing face to face magic for people who need it is a good one, head on over to his Indie Go Go space and donate a couple of bucks. If you can't right now, that's alright; there's 23 days left on the campaign and you can help by spreading the word.

So there's this knighthood

A while back I noticed something new popping up on my FB feed-an ATC knighthood. I'm intrigued but I haven't 'liked' the page yet. I'm wary, honestly. The only other knighthoods I'm familiar with are the Knights Templar, and the Salvation Army. Matching faith with the sword, metaphysical or otherwise, has historically lead to a lot of death and destruction. Knighthoods are a Christian thing, a way of pushing the faith and defending it (I'm guessing from people who didn't take kindly to being forced to convert). I know that the ATC's knighthood is not going to be pushing anything because that's simply not the Wiccan way of doing things, and yes, Wicca does need defending. But a knighthood?

The ATC already is borrowing a couple of things from Christianity in order to lend itself mainstream credibility; tabernacle and church. A tabernacle is literally a dwelling place of the divine and comes from Hebrew. It's morphed in Christianity to the place where they store the body of Christ aka the communion wafers. And well, church? The word is laden with it's own baggage. From Wikipedia: A church is technically a term for a gathering of citizens in a town (origins from ancient Greek), but is commonly understood by the Christian adoption of the word as gathering of Christians in a building or structure to facilitate worship and the meeting of its members, specifically in Christianity." Many Pagans don't like the word and are uncomfortable with it. I've spoken to not a few since coming to the island and, upon hearing about the ATC and the Circle's association with it, said they were hesitant to join because of that word. We talked about this a bit one night with the Arch Priestess, Bella, and with others, and the thinking is that because Paganism, and particularly Wicca, is so new, and still so misunderstood, it's better to have that protection, that legitimacy, than not. That was the thinking 30-ish years ago, and while Wicca has come a LONG way since there, there's still a long way to go.

Another thing, for me, is the difference between 'warrior' and 'knight'. I asked my other mentor about it, the difference between the two, because I knew there WAS a difference, but I couldn't articulate it. This is what she said (posted with her permission): A knight holds loyalty to a system, to a ruler or a structure. She is bound to act a certain way in accordance with a certain code, and honor is defined by adhering to the code no matter what the circumstance. When she leads, she does so by fiat and in accordance with the law.

The warrior's loyalty is to a community or a people. Her duty is to protect those people as well as she is able. The only code of the warrior is loving service, so that circumstance may prompt actions outside the expected law, so she can't have loyalties to structures or leaders. When she leads, she does so by example.

That's it, in a nutshell. My clan is that of the warriors of the Ojibwe peoples; the marten. My names, both in Anishnabe and my secret Craft name, relate to the eagle, leader of the Bird clan. In Pathfinder and D&D, while I'm drawn to the paladin class, I've always felt the rules and oaths too confining. In my heart, I'm a warrior. My loyalty is to my community of friends and family, and to women and children who need protection and whatever loving service I can provide. I'll be watching to see what the knighthood *does*, but I'll be staying over here in the shadowy place where the forest meets the edge of the battlefield.

Oh Canada!

Well I've moved again; this is the third one in two years. The leap from Northern Ontario to Nanaimo was the biggest, obviously, and the change in the environment both drastic and not. So much of Vancouver Island reminds me of where I'll always call Home; the long, winding roads that twist and bend through rock cuts, along vast bodies of water and swift rivers. There's very little simple laying of pavement in Canada; there's a lot of blasting and filling and driving through the land instead of over it. The Canadian Shield, the Rocky Mountains, the bogs and marshes of the Hudson's Bay lowlands, the worn near-smooth Appalachians in the East and the Tongats in the North-East make it a place you have to live WITH and not just ON. Throw in literally thousands of lakes and rivers that need to be avoided or crossed and four terrific seasons in much of the country and you have a place like no other. I grew up playing around massive white pines and sugar maples, birches and aspens, white cedars and spruce. Spring came late but that unmistakable time between April and June made up for lost time. Summer was hot sand, cool water and long starry nights at a fire next to the lake. Autumn was woodsmoke up the chimney, long golden sunsets shining on the reddest leaves anywhere and all of my years ever back to school. Winter is actually what I miss most; the deep quiet and cold of true winter. Out here it's wet and alive and hummingbirds are still around. There are flowers blooming in February! It's not winter, it's a weird wet season that's the opposite of the long dry summer.

This post is nothing but a love letter to the land I miss, and that's ok.

Lake Superior at Sand River and the Bathtub Islands